Many of us fail to understand what we exactly want from our goals and how to actually achieve them. Recently, the University of Scranton carried out a research that reports that about 92% of people tend to give up on their goals and New Year’s resolutions. That’s a staggering amount!
So let’s about goal-setting, why we’re not achieving our goals and what to do about it.
A goal is a specific object or idea that concerns one’s future. It involves a desired end-result that is set based on a person’s beliefs, values, needs, and wants. Goals can be either short-term or long-term.
You may either want a nice car, a bigger house, a luxury vacation, or just peace and happiness. Goals vary from person to person and they are all valid in each different case. But it’s important to understand what type of impact our goals have on us and our loved ones.
Every goal that we set comes down to whether we want to achieve it because it’ll make us happy or happier. The Dalai Lama said that “The purpose of our lives is to be happy”.
Most of us are dissatisfied with our lives and have succumbed to different mental illnesses. This is because we have stopped reflecting and prioritizing our well-being.
Well-being is an intricate combination of physical, mental, and emotional health of a person. It is deeply interlinked with happiness, fulfillment, and the satisfaction that we manifest from our lives. But well-being can also be elusive at times. An Australian consumer report indicates that 58% of people wish they could have more time to invest in their health and well-being. It also showed that around 83% of them are willing to pay more for services and products that help improve well-being.
So why do people tend to feel frustrated for not meeting their goals fast enough or even not at all? Or they met their goal but they still feel like crap. Why is there so much of unrest? Well, there are multiple reasons and aspects connected to this issue. But what’s most important is that we have stopped prioritizing our happiness and well-being
It doesn’t matter if your purpose is to grow a multi-million dollar business or raise amazing kids. What matters is that you discover what will make you happy and then start doing it.
Productivity is defined simply as the state of producing or creating something. And there cannot be anything better to create than happiness in our life!
Happy productivity doesn’t mean having a bigger to-do list or more goals, or working harder. It’s the opposite. It’s about getting crystal clear on who you are, what you want your life to be like, and then taking inspired actions each day to fulfill that purpose.
It’s important to understand that we sacrifice many other areas of our lives with our obsession to control challenging circumstances that are in fact out of our control. We neglect and deteriorate areas of our lives such as health and time with my family just to meet that goal. It’s no wonder, happiness was never the end-result.
This is what happens with all of us too. We get really frustrated for not meeting their goals, or not meeting them fast enough. Or many times we are left unsatisfied even when we do. But we cannot control circumstances beyond and above our existence. Yes, we all wish we could, but we can’t. We can’t control other people and their actions. We can’t control our past because it’s already done. But what we can control is our core beliefs.
Results and goals are tangible. You can see the money in your bank account. You can fit into that ideal jean size. You have the endurance to run that race. You have a great loving relationship. It’s all real.
We need to step back and reflect on all the work we are putting into achieving a goal. Then it’s important to evaluate the results that we are getting. Are they what we had always wanted? Do they coincide with our values and core beliefs?
If you’re not getting the tangible, real results that you want then you should consider looking at the reasons why that’s so.
Core beliefs are what we think and feel. They can either be disempowering or empowering. Core beliefs drive thoughts and feelings. And how we think and feel determines the actions that we take. And our actions determine our results.
Disempowering beliefs nurture negativity – period. You may experience the constant need to be validated or that you’re not worthy of happiness or any good that may come your way. At times, disempowering thoughts make you trust others less. People start living more in self-pity than in gratitude and may adopt a victim mentality.
On the contrary, empowering beliefs ignite hope, gratitude, love, and positivity in a person’s life. If you invest in empowering beliefs, you would rely less on the validation of others. You’ll attract love and abundance. Such beliefs make us feel good and they help us to connect to our personal power.
At times, most of us end up succumbing to negative thoughts. We foster thoughts that stop us from achieving a goal because of bitter past experiences. Sometimes we let our past behavior decide our future. For many, unknowingly there’s a limiting belief in us that’s holding us back from taking actions that would lead us to success.
Most people try to meet their goals by being super busy, or by exhausting their willpower and beating themselves up. They feel like they just need to get out there and get busy and push through it all. Sometimes we don’t have any idea how to exercise our inner power or how to leverage our potential.
If you’re taking the wrong action or not taking action because of how you’re thinking and feeling, you won’t get the results that you want. You need to understand your needs and wants. And specifically plan out ideas that help you reach your goals more easily and quickly.
If you want a different result in life, this is a practice you need to master. And it’s called a practice because it takes a process. It’s a process and it takes time to get good at it.
Meditation is useful because it’s the practice of giving yourself space. It allows you to observe your life almost through a screen so that you can literally watch and pay attention to how you think.
Many of us don’t know how to deal with our thoughts and feelings. Numbing down and checking out does not lead us to the happiness, and the fulfillment that we crave. All it does is that it eases the pain temporarily.
Many people try to change aspects of their lives through force or willpower. It’s going to be a lot harder if you do this without fully understanding the beliefs that are the driving force behind these actions.
Instead, you can take out the time to fully understand what’s going on within you and get a hold of that thought feeling combination that drives your actions. Once you change it, the action becomes so much easier like almost unwinding the hold that it has on you.
Your past is not an indication of your future and it has no impact on your future, as long as you don’t le it. It’s your job to own and take command of where you are headed. Take responsibility for your own success and do the inner work to identify how to get there. Learn from the past but don’t get stuck there.
Study what you’re thinking and feeling in a non-judgmental way so that you can address the problem at the core. Do the work to understand it and then change it in a gentle, loving, and kind way.
It’s also important to realize that some of your beliefs were probably picked up as a child. When you start recognizing and understanding them, you can also practice changing them. This attitude will drive better actions and results, and help you achieve your goals easily.
Start analyzing your thinking and feeling around the goal. Look back and see if there are patterns that you have been repeating which no longer serve you, and make the commitment to change them for the better.
Goals have a direct connection with our well-being and happiness. Our goals are supposed to fill us up with gratitude and positivity to create abundance.
We all have core beliefs. They are driven by our thoughts and feelings. How we think and feel determines the actions that we take. Our actions determine our results.
Core beliefs are like the inside layers of an onion. You don’t really get to the deep stuff without getting those top layers off. We often cry peeling onions and that’s totally okay too. Remember, this is a practice. Be prepared for other layers to reveal themselves.
If you found this article helpful, consider joining Goal Achievers, which is our coaching community where we dive deep into a topic relevant to living a full and extraordinary life each month. We focus on just one topic at a time so the process isn’t overwhelming and we help you take small powerful steps forward towards the life of your dreams.
If you are a business owner, you can also join us at Inner Circle, our business coaching program where we take you by the hand to help you eliminate frustration, stress, and overwhelm from your business so you can achieve the results you really want.
Jennifer Dawn has grown two multimillion dollar businesses and now mentors others to do the same. She is one of the select few nationwide Profit First and Provendus Growth Academy Certified coaches…
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