Episode 95:Heal Yourself & Your Business With Intimate Feminine Energy – Transcript

In this episode, Jennifer sits down with intimacy coach Melisa Keenan to explore how a thriving love life fuels success in business. Melisa explains the powerful connection between feminine energy, creativity, and professional growth. High-achieving women often default to masculine energy to lead, but reclaiming intimacy, pleasure, and emotional connection can spark vitality and vision. From balancing Yin and Yang to healing generational wounds around intimacy, Melisa shares how embracing feminine energy reignites passion both at home and in your career. This episode is a must-listen for female entrepreneurs ready to lead with authenticity, restore balance, and unlock creative flow.

Transcript

Jennifer: All right. Hey, hey, everybody. Welcome to this, today’s, I gotta remember what day it is.

Today’s episode of the Happy Productive Podcast, you guys. I’m so excited about today’s guest. Her name is Melissa Keenan and you’re not going to be, well, if you read the title of the show, you’re probably going to be like, oh my goodness, they’re going to be talking about intimacy. Yes, we are. And it’s probably going to get pretty juicy.

So, you might want to like, you know, pull up a chair, maybe take out a pen and pencil. You might pen and paper. You might want to take some notes, who knows, but we’re going to go there today and I’m super excited. Melissa, welcome to the show.

Melisa: Thank you so much for having me.

Jennifer: Yes, I’m super excited. So, you guys, Melissa is the go-to intuitive intimacy expert for high achieving spiritual CEOs. And she has some bestselling books and I, for one, when I went to her website and learned more about Melissa, it was just like, I want to buy what she’s selling. I just, I want more of it because it was just something that you don’t see very often where you’re tying like intimacy to like, you know, high powered CEOs. And so Melissa, just take a few minutes and just tell us a little bit about you, your story and how you came to be here with us today.

Melisa: Yes. So, I love the concept of being a coach because it’s a little like the Wild West in the sense that, you know, I would say I have lots of certifications and stuff. But my biggest credentials came from the school of hard knocks, which was my life and my own marriage, which nearly crumbled down to nothing with four children in tow and then ultimately, we rebuilt it back to what it is today and going through that process, I literally did not know what the goal was, because I had never seen, I’d never seen what we now experience and so as we, you know, apply tools and healing and changing, and I really stepped into more feminine energy and really understanding intimacy, and we got really vulnerable with each other, it was like, Oh, my gosh, what is this? I didn’t know that this was available on the planet. I have to share this. And so that was the origination. I mean, at that time, I didn’t even know that coaching was a thing.

I was like, motivational speaker, or what am I going to do with this? I don’t know what to do with this. But women need to know that was my big thing.

You know, in some of the challenges that my husband and I went, went through, I went to several different betrayal, trauma conferences, and had surrounded myself with women who, you know, I could link arms with, because we were kind of in trenches together and stuff and, and so I was surrounded by women who were like, we were sold a fairy tale and this is total bullcrap and now here we are in the thick of our lives with kids that have demands, and we have no answers, and we have no one to lean on and you know, that’s kind of like where we were at.

And so, building back from that, it was like, gosh, so I started my work, it’s been about five years, I started my work around just supporting women’s hearts, you know, you get started, it’s a little vague, I didn’t really know what my niche was going to be and as I continue to work with women, I realized it’s about intimacy and I started to see that business owners in particular had a certain set of patterns, especially women, that in our day and age, we tend to fall into more masculine energy, like the hustle, the do, the be, the achieve, the perfectionism, all of that and all of those were my nemesis in creating a strong relationship, because I just kept myself so guarded and walled with my achievements and my hustling, that I didn’t really have time to connect in the way that I crave.

So, as I started working with women, that’s how I niched down into really working with business owners and, you know, over the last now three years, I’ve worked with women and couples and I just this work is so precious to me. Like some people are like, I don’t want to hear people’s marriage problems, I’m like, I’m all in.

Jennifer: Well, and your marriage problems, whether it’s a partner or a spouse, whatever that is, whoever that you’re, you’re connected to, it’s a very real thing.

Because even as a business coach, I often find myself in a space where I’m working with a client, and it turns into, you know, their divorce, their husband cheated on them, that betrayal, it turns into, I don’t have a connection with my partner anymore, I’m going to be leaving them, they don’t know this, but I’m leaving in a year and, and let’s work on my business and it’s like, wait, wait, hold up, what, what did you just say? and so I end up finding myself in that space a lot and so it’s a very, very real thing that our intimate relationships and our businesses, I feel like are very, very connected.

So, I love that you’re doing this work and it’s such important work. One of the things that I’ll just put my dirty laundry out there so, one of the things that I hear my husband often say, it’s not that dirty, it’s just like a little bit dirty laundry.

I often hear him say to me, I want you to be more softer, I want you to be softer. He wants me to be more feminine. And, and I kind of want him to be a little more masculine. But I think that’s part of because the space that I’m in where I’m in, you know, a lot of people are worried about their one business, I’m worried about 40 businesses of all my clients, right? So, I’m, I’m in this space where I have to be analytical, I have to solve a lot of problems. And I love what I do. I love what I do.

But it’s, it’s a very difficult shift for me to make to be like, I’m in this business world all day long. And now what I’m supposed to like, you know, put on a dress or something. I don’t even know and I grew up a tomboy, Melissa. So, the whole feminine energy thing, it kind of mystifies me. I’m I really like it, but I’m not quite sure how to even like get into it and if you work with women, I’m sure you probably hear this. So we’ll, we’ll just throw it out there.

Because I know somebody is going to be listening, and they’re going to resonate with this and go, yeah, Jen, like, I kind of have a hard time to figuring out where those boundaries are, and how to get into the feminine energy after you’ve been in a business space, masculine energy all day long. So I just love to hear your thoughts.

Melisa: Yep. And in some ways, it can feel really unfair. Like, what are you asking of me? You know, I’ve had women reach out and be like, I’m in a male dominated industry, I’m the only female at the boardroom table. And like, this is how I have learned to succeed.

Like I’m cutthroat and, you know, I had one client who, who told me that she has had settings in her work where she’s walked in and said, Don’t you worry, I can swing my dick bigger than yours or faster than yours. Like, you know, and these are real. And that kind of pressure is very real and legitimate.

And so then to get into a partnership, it’s like, well, I’m not even sure what you’re asking of me. And I loved where you said, you know, is it a dress? Is it because women will reach out to me too and say, I just wish I painted my nails more often. Or I just wish, you know, I had more feminine hobbies and the reality is, none of that has anything to do with what your husband’s asking for. Like, he may say he wants you to vacuum more, but he doesn’t actually fill his love tank.

Jennifer: Yeah, we he’s out of luck, if he wants me to vacuum more, because that (8:00) is not happening and that’s why we have Lucy and Lucy is a wonderful vacuumer and she likes (8:05) to do it. Thank you.

Thank you, Lucy. Lucy cleans things that I didn’t even know could be cleaned.  I’m like, Oh my god, really? That could be clean. That’s awesome. Okay, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. But I love where you’re going. So please keep going. It’s not some of those things that we think like putting on a dress or painting our nails. Keep going.

Melisa: So I call that cultural feminine, which that’s going to be different for every person because it’s based on the culture you were brought up in. What were you culturally told it meant to be a good woman? That’s a great question that I’ll ask my clients, like kind of as we’re getting started.

What were you told it means to be air quotes, good woman, right? Or what were you shown that that means? And for some of us to there’s, there’s like the, well, I need to be able to be sexy, I need to have I need to be thin, (but I also need to be curvy. I have, you know, all these body image things and etc. But it also could include like, I also need to be, you know, a high achiever in business and things like this.

I know my mom, growing up always had this starch white nurse outfit that she would wear every day as she was getting ready. And I would watch her put on her mascara and go out like suited up to go serve. She actually served in a Native American hospital and, and so that was my idea was like, oh, and she had this plaque that said Wonder Woman works here. Okay, this is what it means to be a good woman, right? So all those things, we take all those in and you wouldn’t believe I mean, we all think Oh, yeah, we’re so like, we’re feminists. We don’t like none of that stuff affects us.

Yeah, right. It affects us so deeply. Like the woman who’s like, you know, whenever I entertain guests, you know, it takes me five hours to set out the table because it needs to have all these decorations and all these things like, where did she get that from? Does she enjoy it? Because if she doesn’t, she should stop. Yeah. Cultural feminine is all these things and it behooves us to ask ourselves, what was I told? And then now that I’m a woman, which ones do I like? And which ones do I not like? Which ones do I want to get rid of? That’s our cultural feminine.

Then we move into feminine energy, or yin energy, which is your yin and yang principles that have existed since the beginning of time, you know and yin and yang is more about it is a softness. It’s about more of an energy state. It’s about kind of who you’re being on the inside and less about how you’re looking or adorning yourself on the outside or what kinds of things you’re doing.

Doing is actually masculine energy and so, the feminine is more about who you’re being. It’s turning forward rather than focused outward.

It’s focused on your internal authority rather than like seeking for the authority or advice of others. It can be a very spiritual space. But it’s also very open and receptive. It’s the part of us that says yes to play, right? Because we see play as a value rather than just a waste of time. It’s the part of us that says yes to pleasure. Like all of our sensations are feminine energy.

So masculine and feminine energy shows up in both men and women, and it’s not gender specific. But I operate under the assumption that women, people who are women, tend to have more feminine energy. And if they aren’t actively experiencing that, they probably feel out of alignment within themselves, which most of us aren’t, right? Most of us, we’ve been plopped into a world where it’s full of masculine energy.

So most of us are out of balance and have more masculine. We get more opportunities to exercise the muscles of our masculine energy than getting to exercise the muscles of our feminine energy. We just haven’t invited it to the table.

Jennifer: I love that so much. It helps me to really understand because you’re right, that cultural feminism, I think, oh, he wants me to be soft. He wants me to be girly. It’s just like, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not. Yet as a coach, as I go through my day, like I’m very connected to source, we’ll call it source. I feel very connected.

When I don’t feel connected, I definitely feel out of whack as I work with people, you know, I’m empathetic, I’m caring, I’m solving problems, but it’s in a very, it’s in a very softer, feminine space. So that really helps me to kind of understand the difference. It’s not necessarily about if my nails are painted or not. It’s really more about that, that energetic space that we are holding. Is that right?

Melisa: And I would say at the end of the day, the question, especially when it comes to a partnership is, can I be open and receptive of him in the deepest possible ways that really in a partnership is why this conversation matters so much because the feminine energy is the breeding ground for relationships. Relationships really aren’t, can’t exist well only in masculine energy and that’s why you see, you know, there’s a lot of like cutthroat practices in, in, you know, high level businesses, right?

Because they want to operate solely in masculine energy. Like never tell anybody what is going on in your personal life. They’ll use it against you.

Never bring forward, you know, these more subtle nuanced parts of you. It’s all business, which means it’s all masculine energy. And therefore, you don’t have strong connected or committed relationships.

Feminine energy is what brings in the opportunity for like, Oh, emotion and connection and curiosity. And so when it comes to a romantic partnership, it’s just that question of like, am I really receiving my partner at the deepest level?  And that’s a question even I ask myself continually, like what are the next deeper layers?  Because it becomes this beautiful journey of healing. Like, Oh, where do I still feel the need to wall up? And why what’s my perception? How can I heal that? How can we heal that together? Is there something there that we need to explore?

Jennifer: Yeah, this is so great. Okay. So, if you’re listening and you can resonate with this, like when you’re in the workplace as a female and you’re working all day and you’re give, give, giving, and you’re taking care of everybody. And then you get to the end of your day, which for some of us might be a very long day.

And then you’re, you know, you’re with your partner and they want from you, how do you still remain open? Cause I love the term that you said that, you know, wall up. I love that. I really understand that because it’s like at the end of the day, when you’re just tired and you’ve been solving problems all day, you’re not often in a great space to be like, honey, I’m open to now solving all of your problems. Um, you know, hey, um, you know, so that wall up really resonates with me of just like, you kind of put those walls up.

You’re like, I need some time for me now. So how do you transition from being in a space? So you’re in the workspace and then now I’m in the home space and I need to not wall up. I need to be open. I need to be receptive for my partner while also like setting boundaries for yourself. So how does all that play? And I’m sure you’ve heard this before, Melissa. So you’ll be the right one to answer this question. Like, how do you navigate all of those different spaces?

Melisa: Yes, absolutely. And you know, what I’m hearing in this is more of a, um, my marriage is something that is life sucking.

That is just another demand from me. It’s just another thing I have to do. And we often tend to put sex on that to-do list as well. Um, you know, conversation, communication, whatever our spouse’s love languages are. If you’re familiar with the love languages, I love it. I use it in my coaching.bI love the love languages. I know they’re so good. It was another checklist thing.

It’s a duty. And, um, instead of what it was initially intended to be, why we signed up for this marriage thing anyway, right? Is a life-giving experience and opportunity where we experienced all of our needs being met and can’t they all be met at the same time? And so, um, it’s, I would invite like what I see with this and couples will come in and work with me or women will come in and work with me and this is their perspective. It’s like, we have to figure out what’s, what’s made the marriage feel kind of deadening. And then we flip it over and so that it becomes a life-giving thing and the biggest symptom that I see, uh, why this is happening is that we’re not listening to our desires or expressing our desires.

So, when it comes to your partnership, if all you think of when you look at your spouse is like, Oh, like you’re so needy, you know, it’s like, wait a second, what’s your heart even saying? If you could clear that wall away, what do you want? What do you need? Or what have you told yourself you could never have because you’ve been hurt too many times. You know, your spouse has proven again and again, they’re not willing to show up for you in the way that you feel you need or you desire.

So you’ve just said, fine, then we’ll just exist together and you know, it’ll be what it is. What we do when we do that is we hurt our own heart. And as a business owner, your heart is also the whole center of your business, right? So, you’ve now cut off parts of your heart and said, sorry, you can’t have that unless you want to go look elsewhere, which that’s not, I’m not doing that.

I’m not looking outside of my marriage, right? Unless it’s really severe. So I’ve cut off parts of my heart and then I show up in my business with parts of my desire dead end or doled or invisible to me. And it makes it harder for me to be in the vision in my business or to be in play and pleasure in my business and I find myself creating a business that I also don’t enjoy, just like I’m creating a marriage that I don’t enjoy.

The biggest key there is to go back to, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What are my desires? (If this time with my spouse was to actually feel amazing and exciting and something I’m choosing into, cause I want it. What would I, what would I want? Is there a way for both of us to have our desires and needs met at the same time?

Jennifer: Oh, I love this so much. It’s so, so good. And I know there’s going to be people who are listening that this is going to help them so very much.

Let’s talk about the sex just a little bit. Cause I think that this is so important. And when you, I love what you said about creating the relationship that you want, creating the business that you want and if you go into it with some of these like notions, having to flip those over. I love that where you were just like, Hey, it sounds like you’re a relationship based on the wrong things. And that makes perfect, perfect sense and so when this is happening and you’re like, you are, you’re cutting off your heart in your relationship, in your business, it’s going to affect other things. And so I’d love to talk a little bit about like how that affects your sex life.

Because if you, you know, go in, you’re in the workplace all day, you come home and now you’re like, Oh, this guy, now he just wants more, more from me or vice versa. I’ve had male clients. I’m not picking on men or anybody. I’ve had male clients who have said, you know, I’m working all day long.

I go home, my wife wants things from me. And I’m just like, go away because I’ve been helping people all day long. And so what do you do to kind of like rekindle some of that intimacy or start to flip it so that way, you’re not having your heart shut off and that you actually can be open to receive some of this, you know, greater intimacy and things in your life.

Melisa: There’s some specific wounding and I do find it to be more gender oriented around sex, you know, women, women tend to carry a huge wound, even if we weren’t personally sexually abused or don’t have that in our past.

We all know somebody who was and definitely you don’t have to go very far back in our ancestry to find someone who was in my case, it’s every single ancestor (in every single possible way, including, you know, adultery and incest and all of the things in my ancestry all the way back all the way back.

So for me, carrying that, you know, unawares into my marriage, I’m the one who holds the brakes, I’m the one who’s tends to be more cautious, I would much rather be in achievement and productivity and yeah, look at me and all the glorious things I can do to help people and all of that, right, then go into these subtler places, because there’s tremendous healing that has to be done there. Yeah. And so it has taken my own personal journey has taken a tremendous amount of effort on healing.

I actually had to realize that this was about a couple of years ago, my mother has tremendous sexual trauma all through her childhood. And I finally had to just start to face that as if it was my own.

Because I realized I’m acting like it is like I always have had my things out with men and the distrust and the you know, creeper radar and like hyper vigilant and but you know, then that that also translated into my marriage, like, can I trust him? How deep can I trust him?.

Can I really trust him at the deepest level? With me with my heart with this most precious part of me, my sensuality, you know, my pleasure, all of that. It is so multi layered. But on the flip side, again, as I have healed that it has opened me up to more vision and pleasure and play as a business owner.

And then I do want to speak to the to the men side of it, what I have found, and again, we’re speaking in stereotypes, because every single person’s journey with this is different. And then the marriage itself, you bring together two unique individuals, they create a whole separate entity when they when they come together.

So everybody’s situation is different but what I tend to see with men is it’s a little bit more straightforward. Perhaps there’s not as much trauma involved just due to the nature of gender and etc. But, but sometimes men do have different turn ons, they aren’t necessarily just physical touch, they want more connection, or they want to feel like they have a safe place to rest, or they need more acceptance and appreciation.

That’s tremendous work for a woman. All of that is tremendous. Individuals, right? Like someone like me, who’s like, I’ll trust you when you prove it and then I’ve really had to work on that. I don’t think I’m that way anymore.

But I was, yeah, you know, a man like this, who’s like, I need tenderness, I need deep acceptance and understanding and I can’t accept you until you prove yourself, it becomes a vicious spiral downward. And you can see, right, but any of those patterns, it’s possible to heal, always, always healing as possible. And, you know, I’ve met with women who and honestly, I bet you, I’ve heard this from more than 10 women, like kind of, they’ll pour their heart out in in sort of like secrecy and confidence of like, this is how I really feel and she’ll say, I could never have sex again, and be just fine. And I’ve heard, you know, so many women say that. And yeah, I know that is spoken from a place of pain.

Jennifer: Right? Right.

Melisa: And so, so again, if we’re feeling all shut off in these areas of our life, if you know anything about energy, all this comes in our sacral chakra, which is our creativity center. So shut down when it comes to sex, or you feel stifled due to your partner or whatever any of this is happening, it’s likely creativity is difficult for you in your business and in your work in the world.

Jennifer: Oh, that makes sense. And I’ve, I’ve had friends who I’ve heard say, if I never had sex again, it would be totally fine. And you’re right, it is coming from a place of pain.

I also want to say this is a new area that I saw, I just turned 50 last year. And so I’ll be 51 this year. And I didn’t realize that for the last several years, I have been going through pre perio or whatever it is, menopause, right.

And so the test, the hormones and stuff have been changing. And I finally got tested and realized I had very, very low testosterone. And if I’m being completely honest, a couple, you know, a year, two years ago, I would have been the person saying, if I never had to have sex again, it’d be okay, because there was just no desire, no, none of that stuff.

But I didn’t realize that my testosterone was super low. And so, for all my ladies out there right now, I’ve actually been thinking of doing a podcast on this, because I’m sure there are women who are, you know, in their early 40s, early 50s in that area that are transitioning, and you don’t even realize it, because I didn’t realize it, I was busy building my business. And I’m out doing Spartan races and I’m doing all of these things. And I was tired.

But I just thought it was because I was pushing and driving so hard but at the same time, like the libido was just really just declining, declining. And me and my husband, we laugh about this, because I was like, I just thought you were annoying. And I didn’t really want to be like around you that much anymore.

But it wasn’t that at all. It was these hormones. And now they’ve put me on some testosterone and it’s crazy the difference. And I’m telling my I think my husband’s gonna start running from me because every time I see him now, I just want to like, climb him like a tree. And I’m like, baby, and he’s like, yeah, like, right on, honey and it’s wonderful.

I think they need to maybe back it off just a little because I’m like, Okay, I don’t want to be like an 18-year-old boy who I can only think about sex. But it is so nice that after years of struggling in this area to, you know, not have to not I always had a very, very strong drive, and then to have it just slowly decline and not understand I was like, what is going on? Like, I really just didn’t know.

I hate to sound so naive and silly, but I really and truly didn’t realize this is what was happening. And so that’s been a huge.  It’s and the the woman that I work with, that’s been helping me with all the hormone stuff.

She said, you know, Jennifer, this has saved so many marriages, because as a woman, you just get into this space where you’re just like, I don’t want it. I’m not interested in it. Get away from me with it. I just I’m not interested. But a little bit of testosterone goes a long way, ladies and it really has changed all of that.

So I’m sure you also work with women who are successful women, you know, in that age range. And what’s what’s your advice to them? Who are going through this that I’m actively going through right now?

Melisa: Yes. Well, I love the solution that you came to that is working so well for you and I know that (28:22) there are some women who refuse to do any kind of hormone replacement therapy and so it’s a slower process in terms of like, the reality is, it’s like your body is going through a sort of death and rebirth, like the way that you are now experiencing life is completely different and so I have helped a few a handful of women going through this stage of life and I want to say where you were like, I hate to sound so naive. No, the reality is, we literally have made this thing invisible. It’s like you’re supposed to go through menopause, and no one’s even supposed to know about it and if you want to let us know about it, we don’t want to hear about it.

That’s what the world’s attitude is, right? When really, it should be like a sacred rite of passage, like a ceremony. Welcome to the golden years of my life, where I get to show up with all this new wisdom and you know, so much less care for what other people think and all these years that I’ve lived and, you know, potentially raised children and watching them grow into adulthood, potentially, you know, stepping into empty nesters stage like, there’s a lot of beautiful aspects of right? Yeah, yeah.

So I’ve helped women before who refused hormone, any kind of hormone treatment and stuff. And typically, it’s just a matter of like, actually giving yourself tremendous permission to choose what, what brings you joy? What kind of things you enjoy?

What kinds of things bring you pleasure? and it’s almost like getting to know your body a new, you know, what are the things that excite me and you know, I had one woman who never ever read like romance novels and she just found like oh she gave herself and this is you know, a broker Of a huge brokerage in San Diego gave herself lots of space more space and permission to be in this than she ever has and she was like, I love romance novels and you know, just you find new things and I think to the opportunity to connect through I’m having a high there it is the oxytocin Yeah You’re you know, you’re like euphoria connector hormone. Yeah approaching it from that space where there’s like this sweetness and joy and Even maybe some Spirituality or just like connected time like together with your souls together.

That also can be another way to sort of like ease into a new phase and stage of your life but I will say that You know the idea that like the older you get you just have to kind of stop and eventually you just don’t and stuff I’ve actually seen the opposite true. Like if you want to continue connecting through sex as you age totally can Yeah, yes.

Jennifer: I Agree completely and I’ve heard about couples who was like, yeah, you just get older and you just don’t do it anymore and I’m like, well I don’t want to be that couple because it’s so important to have that intimate connection with your partner and to lose that as you you’re getting older. It’s just like wait that does not seem fair at all and guys, I’m not advocating for hormone replacement therapy. I’m really not I do believe is you have to do what’s right for your body? and I’ve really just started to kind of like play around with this stuff to kind of figure it out because I just felt so Disconnected from my own body and I was just like wait, this is not who I’ve been This is not who I want to be Something’s going on.

I don’t know what I had my blood work checked and that’s how I found out they were like You have literally zero testosterone in your body even for where you’re at you should have more than this and so that was just a real wake-up call for me and it was like, oh wait, that’s why I’m kind of fatigued That’s why I have zero drive.

That’s why some of these things are happening So I do think we all have to figure out what’s best for us but it was such a shock to me to be like the lights on below the waist like came back on I’m like, wait a second. So, I was like everything woke up I’m like it was dead and now it’s spring and there’s blooms on the trees Wonderful, and even my husband.

Melisa: was just like some of that to this that once you can heal and you know you get through the mud and the trenches and all of that and you get to a place where Both of you are open and free and sex is connective and exciting and all of that This is when you get to really flip the conversation because and I’ve met many many women who’ve gone through menopause and this is when they start to access this stuff is the concepts around sex magic and using sex to heal and using sex to manifest things in your tangible reality like.

There’s so much that we totally don’t even get to see because we’re too busy You know, we’re we’re heard and we’re through all the muck over here.

But once you get over here Like sex can be such a tremendous vehicle you know using sex as transcendental meditation like there is just so much that you can do where it becomes so sacred and and I think that Sometimes I feel like even in my business in my messaging and so I don’t even get to talk about that stuff enough because we have to go through all this stuff over here, but like this is my great love and I think There’s so many counterfeits is what I want to say in the world.

There’s so many counterfeits to beautiful healthy connective sex that sometimes we’re just like Like why does this even have to be a part of my life at all? You know, right we’re that and we can have this just Beautiful experience with our partner it changes everything it And it it is it’s like a completely different thing sex can be something completely different than what you have Always been told it was, you know through media and the world.

Jennifer: Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely and I what I did have a very sexually abusive father. So, I grew up with the sexual abuse and then in my current relationship It definitely it came into my previous relationships because I was divorced before with my current husband, I went through four years of trauma therapy to work on this stuff and to heal and to get to where I am because it.

Definitely came into the relationship So those of you who like, you know I I had that in my past that I definitely had to heal from as well and it was very difficult deep work that had to be done, but Melissa you’re talking about like using sex for meditation and for manifesting and I’m like, okay I have no idea how to do that. So, we’re probably gonna have to do a whole nother show just on that the sex episode Because now that I’m feeling a little better. It’s like hey, wait a second. I might have to look into that.

I Think it was just it was so interesting to me how I just I didn’t even realize how not that me and my husband We were still intimate we were but it just wasn’t as good when you’re as the female You’re kind of like I’m not really in the mood, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because I love you. Not because I’m feeling like driven to do it and I want to be intimate and connected So the hormone therapy ladies if any of you are just like I’m sharing this because I want to help some people because definitely it was just so not on my radar and now that it’s starting to shift and change it’s really changed things and even my husband.

He’s just like wow, like it’s kind of like when we first got together how it’s we’re making that comparison Because we both thought we were just getting older and you know, this is something you have to let go of that I hope we give everybody Melissa you and I both give everybody some encouragement here that just because you’re aging doesn’t mean that you have to like Give up your sex life and give up that intimate part of you and I love how it is connected to the business It’s so true.

I can look at my business revenues and when they have dipped, I can point out and go Oh, yeah, I was going through that and then when they were up, it’s like oh, yeah, everything was great. We were doing this Back down. Oh, that happened like my business and I are so intimately connected And so it makes sense that you would take some of that.

From your business and into your intimate relationships that those two things are intimately connected yes awesome such a great conversation.

I didn’t even know that you could do more with sex that You’re so you’re opening my horizons today and going. Oh, now you’ve really got me thinking

Melisa: You know, um, yeah, here’s what I love to bring up is do you want a copy of think and grow rich?

Jennifer: I do actually

Melisa: Well, your copy may or may not have this chapter because I think it was around the 60s, they started printing it without this chapter a single chapter In think and grow rich where I believe it’s chapter 13 He talks about this connection. He called it the emotion of sex, which is interesting Emotion of sex, I don’t know why he used that phrasing but he and it’s like he’s referring to a study that someone else did and so he’s saying this person studied Many people who were extremely successful wealthy affluent, you know lots of trade and etc happening and that all of these people were deeply connected to their own sensual natures and activated their emotion of sex.

This is how he talks about it and you know, I remember when I read think and grow rich and apparently I did have a copy that still had this chapter in it Because you’re reading along and you’re like, Yeah you know like when he comes and positive thought and all this right and then you get to this chapter and it was sort of like What and you just sort of forget the chapters there but even What you know saw that there was something to mention there. But again, we talked about the sacral chakra Which is the energy center just below your belly button and that would be for women where like your womb space It’s etc, right this chakra in your body is is Responsible for your pleasure your creativity your vision All of that and so both of those Like business and sex have to do with all of that stuff, right?

Jennifer: Yeah,

Melisa: of course There’s this connection when you’re open a little bit more open to some of the energetics going on You can see like, oh, right There is something to this so we can see clearly like yeah, obviously if I’m going through a divorce It’s gonna affect how I’m able to show in my business but on the on the positive side, it’s like oh I have this like deeply connected marriage and You know and I open myself up to like adventure and aspects of like the wild Feminine in me like, you know that place that you can get to when you feel so safe that you’re like Who am I? I didn’t even know I could do that or I didn’t know I made that shape Right.

Jennifer: Yeah

Melisa: That with your partner you literally are like sending out energetic waves and ripples into the world And so that is elevating you in every way of course, you’re gonna show up with new eyes with fresh perspective as a business owner and You know in the beginning of running a business, you know You kind of need more that hustle grind mentality.

You’re gonna like try a bunch of stuff and right but but you know, three five seven years into running a business What your business is constantly calling you to do is rest and make more space and hire people and be more about the vision in the long term and you know and be the Creativity and stay in the expansion and joy of it, but so many of us don’t know how to access that and like this could literally be a tool It’s like oh, right. This is my practice. This is what keeps me in this creative space

Jennifer: Yeah, I love that and that would probably be something that you would look forward to You know at the end of a day or the you know on a Friday night You’d be like, hey, I need to go access my creative space

Melisa: Literally a top priority rather than you list item. It’s like oh no. Okay. This is where I turn everything off This is my sacred space. No one’s touching it. It’s just me and my husband talk about life giving

Jennifer: Yeah, that’s so amazing. So amazing Melissa I could talk to you all day long and we might have to have you back on the show again to dive deeper into Some of these topics because I know there’s a lot of people that were helping and I know there’s a lot who are probably Going oh my gosh Like where do I go to find out more about this because it’s really not a topic that I think you’re gonna hear very much On most business related podcasts, so I’m so happy that we’re busting this open and having this conversation.

Tell everybody Where they can find you and I believe you have some books too So tell everybody about your books and tell everybody where they can find you if they want to get more information

Melisa: Yes, absolutely Yeah, you can go search me up as an author on Amazon and you can see my books there and one of them is very related to business owners the other one is more related to real spiritual business owners and like the coming of The New Age and where marriage and intimacy falls into that So if you’re into that kind of thing that one’s there. I’m also working on my own solo book this year.

Those two are multi-author collaborative projects and I would invite you to either come in and get my free intimacy guide takes you through it’s called the Four steps to getting more and that’s on my website  www.melissakeenan.com.

Or if you’re on Facebook and you’re a woman and you’d like to join a community of business Owners who get that it’s a holistic approach to business You’re welcome to come and join women manifesting intimacy on Facebook and I’m I’m super approachable like I don’t know how often people listen to a podcast and think I need to talk to that Person, but because it feels a little far away, but I’m super approachable You know, you can shoot me an email you can reach out to me on Facebook, and I’d love to chat.

Jennifer: I Love that so much. All right, you guys and we will put the information to how to find Melissa in our show notes as well Melissa, thank you so much for being here with me today

Melisa: Thank you so much, Jennifer All right you guys so that’s our show for today, I hope you really pulled something from it Definitely like when you’re listening if this is an area of your life that you feel like you want to go deeper in you want to Improve just find one thing from today’s show and take some action from it reach out to Melissa join the Facebook group Get the book do whatever you need to do to just take some action in this space because who doesn’t want more intimacy and especially if it can help also help us be more successful in business So I love it you guys Melissa.

Thank you so much and everybody else you guys get out there and have a happy productive day

Links:

Connect with Melisa: www.melisakeenan.com

Join our Academy: www.jenniferdawnacademy.com

Connect with Jennifer: www.jenniferdawncoaching.com

Retreats: www.jenniferdawncoaching.com/our-retreats